You’ve probably uttered the words “I’m bored” more than a few times. Merriam-Webster defines boredom as “the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest.” Boredom commonly arises in times of life that feel repetitive and mundane, when you don’t feel you are “doing anything”, or participating in activities that don’t engage you or bring you joy. It may look like spending a lot of time scrolling on your phone, feeling unfulfilled in how you are using your free time, or feeling unmotivated and stuck. While boredom is a normal part of life and can pass on its own, persistent boredom may be a sign that your needs aren’t being met or that you’ve fallen out of sync with what brings you purpose and meaning.
Why Am I Bored?
- Lack of structure – Too much free time can lead to boredom because it’s up to us to determine how we use it. Without a routine or sense of direction, it can be harder to make decisions about what to do, especially when dealing with mental health challenges.
- Repetition – Doing the same things all the time makes life feel monotonous. Without novelty, we start “going through the motions” and losing touch with being present in our lives.
- Lack of Challenge – Challenge can be daunting for many, and is also something we crave, whether we realize it or not! Feeling understimulated is often a sign that what we are doing is too easy, passive, or not interesting enough for us.
- Lack of Fulfillment – We feel fulfilled in life when we are spending time with things that are meaningful to us and working towards goals. If your environment or routines don’t reflect what really matters to you, we can become disconnected, resentful, or bored.
- Substance Abuse – Substances alter the way our brain responds to pleasure, rewards, and motivation. If you spend a lot of time using, you might become complacent with inactivity, and activities you used to enjoy are less interesting. If you are cutting back or newly sober, it is common to feel bored because you’ve taken away what gave you pleasure and haven’t figured out what to replace it with yet.
- Emotional Avoidance – While it can feel easy to ignore our emotions and stress, it actually takes a bigger toll on us. When you’re unconsciously distracting yourself from stress or discomfort, you may fill your time with activities that numb rather than nourish. Not addressing your emotions or stressors also keeps you stuck in these patterns, leading to you feeling unfulfilled.
How Do I Stop Being Bored?
- Mindfulness – Mindfulness is the practice of being aware and present in the current moment, without judgment or rejection. Mindfulness is not just meditation, it’s being engaged with your surroundings. Start checking in with yourself and practice observing and describing the environment or activity you are doing.
- Create a Routine – Routines are not just obligations. In order to stick with them, they have to involve joy and excitement! Regularly plan activities related to your interests and leave room for flexibility and novelty, otherwise your routine can become stressful and repetitive. Figure out what tools, like calendars and planners, will be most useful for you to build these habits.
- Cope Ahead – If you are aware of times you are frequently bored, like after work or on weekends, plan activities in advance that excite you. Scheduling something fun or inviting a friend along can make it easier to follow through.
- Building Mastery – Choose one goal you can work on daily, something you want to learn, want to improve on, or need to do. By choosing small actions that are achievable each day, you are more likely to see progress and keep up the momentum. Having those small wins makes up feel more capable and increases our self-esteem.
- Opposite Action – When you feel the urge to avoid, withdraw, or cancel plans, ask yourself: Will this make me feel more fulfilled or more bored? Challenge yourself to resist the urge to stay complacent and do the opposite. Give it your best shot, and do so fully. You might just be glad you chose not to stay on the couch.
- Engage With Your Core Values – Do you know what your core values are? The first step to feeling fulfilled in life is knowing what is important to you. There are tons of examples online like these lists from Scott Jeffrey and QualityCharters.org to get ideas. Ask yourself what values are present in your life, and what ones are lacking. Once you know what’s missing, you can start to explore ways to bring those values into your life and make your time feel more meaningful.
Boredom doesn’t mean you are boring or are doing something wrong in your life. Boredom is a human experience that can act as a signal that we are feeling unfulfilled, understimulated, and craving more. The way we overcome it? Filing our time with things that are interesting, unique, and important to us. It is not about never being still or resting, but responding to our boredom in a way that supports our well-being, helps us be present, and aligns with our values.
