Finding the motivation to make a change is one thing; staying motivated to realize a change is another story. Is motivation impossible? Definitely not. You just have to find a process that works for you.
With Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a skill that may help you feel a sense of confidence and motivation is Building Mastery. Essentially, this means planning to regularly perform a task you know you can master. The sense of achievement from completed tasks builds up over time, adding to our sense of confidence and skill. We often forget how competent we are, so building mastery can help us realize how much we actually do day to day.
What can you do every day that gives you a sense of accomplishment? Building Mastery doesn’t have to be a huge task, but should require effort and be important to you. It can be as simple as making yourself dinner, taking a shower, or brushing your teeth.
Remember, the smaller things can really build up confidence to remind you that you are capable of doing tasks, and give you motivation to move on to larger things with a bit more difficulty over time. Once you feel that the task is too simple for you, work out a way to challenge yourself. For example, you could start with learning how to cook pasta from a package and work your way up to making homemade pasta from scratch.
How to get motivated to change your mindset and reach your goals:
- Make it a definite. Tell yourself you will be successful and accomplish what you are striving for. Often, we don’t have enough faith in ourselves.
- Build up a positive self-image. Do things that help you feel good about yourself and build confidence. Be your own cheerleader and encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for the things you have accomplished.
- Accept things you cannot control. It can be easy when things are not going well to get stuck in frustration. We can’t control everything and spending time wallowing in that keeps us from moving forward. Be flexible to change plans when necessary and learn how to manage stress. When things are frustrating, tell yourself it’s okay and problem solve how to move forward considering the new circumstance.
- Keep a positive focus. When things aren’t going your way, don’t harp on the bad. Find something good within the situation or that comes from it. Learn from mistakes and remember – hard times make you stronger and more prepared for the future.
“The best way to get things done is to simply begin.” – Charlene Adams, author
