We have all been there: getting ready for a first date, putting on a cute outfit, blasting music, then, almost out of nowhere, anxiety and fear take over. You start to wonder how you’ll start the conversation, what you will say, how you will say it, how you look, how they will look, then think, “Maybe I should just back out.”
We have all been there.
First off, first date nerves are completely natural. First dates can be really scary! So how do we combat those first date nerves?
One of the first things you can do is radically accept that you are nervous. Yes, accept it. Don’t try to push it away. What happens when you try to push something away? It usually comes back! Try accepting and saying to yourself: “Yeah. I am nervous and it’s okay. It’s natural.” Validate yourself and your nerves. You don’t have to like it and you can acknowledge that it is completely okay to be nervous.
After you accept your nerves, try taking a deep breath. Anxiety loves to be in the past or future. But what about right here, right now? Are you so focused on what could happen or what has happened that you aren’t focusing on what is happening? Breathe and try to center yourself!
You know that saying, ‘Look good, feel good’? That can apply here. Put on your favorite outfit before the date, or an outfit you feel most confident in. That is a great way to boost your mood and self-confidence before the date.
Do you have a favorite band, artist, or song? Listen to them before you go! Music can help lighten your spirits and hype you up!
Having a friend or family member you can talk to before the date is a great help. Who doesn’t love a good hype person? Or just someone who will listen to your concerns? You can even ask them to text you supportive messages before the date, too.
Another tip is to remember that you, you unique, wonderful person, are completely loveable as you are. You don’t need to change or alter yourself on a first date.
You, as you are right now, are enough.
A lot of the time, people worry, “What if they don’t like me? What if I’m not enough?” Well, what if you don’t like them? What if they aren’t for you? Remember, this is your date, too.
Sometimes, we set unrealistic expectations and see dating in black or white. When we take this approach and it doesn’t go our way, we may make a rash decision and state “I’m done. I am never dating again.” But what if we put this statement in another context?
Let’s say you go to the mall and try on a pair of jeans you thought you would really like. You try them on and they don’t look as good as you thought they would. Would you automatically swear off jeans forever? Likely not!
Just like life, dating isn’t always black and white. Not every person you go on a date with will be your person. And not every pair of jeans will be the perfect fit. It just means you can keep looking at your own pace.
Remember: a not-so-great first date isn’t the end of the world. First date nerves aren’t the end of the world, either.Try some of these tips and remember to be yourself – because you are pretty wonderful!
Don’t forget that you got this! You are spectacular with or without the perfect pair of jeans!
