This week we are talking all about dialectical dilemmas & our topic is: Emotional Vulnerability. We have covered dialectical dilemmas before with our discussion on active passivity, self-invalidation, inhibited grieving, unrelenting crisis, and apparent competence.
Gentle reminder –
Dialectical dilemmas are defined as extreme conflicting emotional states that an individual may present with in treatment. We all at one point or another may have faced a dialectical dilemma. The focus of Dialectical Behavior Therapy treatment is to find the synthesis of these two opposing ideas.
What is Emotional Vulnerability?
Emotional Vulnerability essentially is an extreme sensitivity to emotional stimuli. It is having strong and persistent emotional reactions to small events, and having difficulty with things such as modulating facial expressions, aggressive action, and obsessive worries.
We can all relate to being sensitive to emotional stimuli, especially in NYC; however Emotional Vulnerability can be really harmful.
It can cause very strong emotional responses.
We all have some degree of emotional reactivity in various situations with various emotions. Individuals who engage in Emotional Vulnerability tend to have an extreme response to emotional reactivity, as well as feel swallowed up by their emotions.
These intense emotions interfere with our ability to think, plan, problem solve, and consider others’ perspectives. Additionally, it can be hard to control our behavior when we experience those strong emotions.
Research has shown that when emotions are intense, the main goal is to escape those emotions, though the behavior to escape them may cause even more problems – such as substance use.
How do we get out of this cycle of emotional vulnerability by utilizing DBT therapy?
Notice and accept your emotions
The first step is to notice and accept your emotions. Try to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You may not have to like the emotion, but accept that it is there. Emotional Vulnerability is rooted in pushing those emotions away by another behavior, but remember, they often come back. Try sitting down and noticing and accepting those emotions.
Activate Wise mind
Make sure that you’re activating your wise mind and are not making decisions or emotions and thoughts in extremes. Walking the middle path and finding balance is important when working through dialectical dilemmas.
Mindfulness
Be nonjudgmental and notice your thoughts without actively trying to control them. Try to access your thoughts and accept them as they are. This helps alleviate the tendency to act impulsively.
The goal of mindfulness is to remain open and aware of your thoughts, feelings, triggers, and responses by staying present and engaged. Therefore, you may notice a decrease in feeling worried or upset.
Emotion Regulation: Checking the Facts and PLEASE.
Checking the facts is a skill that allows you to dial back the intensity of the extreme emotions by asking questions such as, “What happened to trigger my emotion?” and “What assumptions did I make about the event to cause my emotion?” Remember, only focus on the facts of the situation.
PLEASE is centered on moderating emotional vulnerability through intentional maintenance of a balanced lifestyle.
PL: Physical illness
E: Eat in a balanced way
A: Avoid mood-altering substances
S: Sleep well
E: Exercise
Radical Acceptance
Radical Acceptance is a powerful Dialectical Behavior Therapy skill. It is about accepting the things that we cannot change, no matter how much we would like to. Practice accepting your emotions.
We can accept something without having to like it.
You don’t have to like that emotion, but it is there and accepting it rather trying to change it or push it away is better than fighting that emotion.
Emotional Vulnerability – Remember This:
It’s okay to ask for help! Learning how we can effectively communicate our needs and wants to our support system is extremely important when combating Emotional Vulnerability. It enables us to better ask for help and allow others to help us. Our friends, family, and health providers are not mind readers and don’t know what we’re struggling with if we do not tell them. Think about what you will tell them, how can you explain your feelings without having an emotional outburst. Think about how you can ask for help and what your support system can do for you.
“You can’t stop the wave, but you can learn how to surf.” – Swami Satchidananda
