Change is a normal part of life that at some point or another, we all have to deal with.
But knowing that doesn’t make it any easier! When we’re faced with big changes, we tend to automatically focus on all the negative possibilities.
➡What if I lose what I have now?
➡What if I make this change, and I end up unhappy?
➡What if I think I’m ready but I’m not?
But whether we *feel* as if we’re ready or not, change happens to all of us. Taking the time for acceptance and preparation for big life changes can help us feel more at ease and less anxious when changes do come up.
Today ask yourself:
- What big life changes have I navigated already?
- How do I usually deal with change? (Do I overprepare? Do I ignore it until it’s too late?)
- What worries me most about change?
Most of us don’t ever learn how to deal with change in a healthy, manageable way. We’re dropped into the world and expected to figure things out! And sometimes it seems easier to ignore upcoming transitions–if you’re only going to focus on the worry, it feels better in the moment to push the thought aside.
But that leaves us unprepared for not only planned life changes, but unexpected changes that happen to us. Learning to manage life’s big transitions in a healthy, productive manner will give you back some control, allow you to feel more at ease, and little by little let go of the fear of change.
Most of us don’t like feeling out of control, which is why big changes are so daunting. Leaving what we know, what we’re used to for something unpredictable is scary, but learning to cope with change without buckling underneath our fear is possible.
So how can you start to handle big changes in your life?
- Find stress coping mechanisms: with change comes stress, there’s no way around it! But if you already have your stress coping mechanisms lined up and figured out, then you can tackle your stressors as they come up, instead of letting them pile up, unattended.
- Remember your support system: who is your support system? Who can you lean on or ask for help? Even when things in your life are changing, your support system doesn’t go away! Use the people around you for support in this time of transition. It will also help you keep something important in your life consistent, so you don’t feel like whatever transition you’re going through is changing every aspect of your life.
- Focus on the positive: what good things are coming from this change? Make a list of all the ways your life will be improved (big or small) and use it as a reminder when the stress becomes too much.
“Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” – Mandy Hale
Alyssa Mairanz, LMHC, DBTC
Alyssa Mairanz provides counseling and therapy services for life transitions, relationship issues, self esteem, depression, anxiety, and DBT and Psychodynamic therapy in a NYC group practice in the Flatiron District near Madison Square Park. She also serves the Village, Chelsea, Union Square, the Financial District and the surrounding areas.
Empower Your Mind Therapy’s mission is to helps our clients build the life they want and find more happiness and satisfaction.
