This week we are talking all about interpersonal effectiveness & our topic is: improving interpersonal effectiveness in the workplace!
If you missed when we talked about what interpersonal effectiveness is, here’s a quick recap: The interpersonal effectiveness model in DBT is all about learning to balance priorities & demands; the wants & the shoulds in your life.
So how can you do this in the workplace? And why is it even important?
Strong interpersonal effectiveness can help with a number of things in the workplace, such as:
- communicating your needs better
- establishing and enforcing boundaries
- developing more effective & stronger working relationships with coworkers, supervisors, clients, etc.
- increasing productivity
- cultivating a positive workplace environment
While a lot of the workday may be spent behind a computer or at a desk, there is still a need for these social and interpersonal effectiveness skills. Strengthening these skills will help to foster a workplace culture where your needs are recognized & addressed, your skills are valued, and the opportunity for growth and promotion are greatly increased.
Today I want you to think about communication in your workplace + the relationships you have with your coworkers.
Within your relationships with your coworkers, supervisors, clients, etc. are you able to:
- communicate your needs?
- enforce your boundaries?
- recognize others needs and boundaries?
- understand the feelings of others?
- operate through cooperation + respect?
Just like we talked about last time, a good portion of effective interpersonal social skills is all about learning balance. You need to balance your needs and the demands of others, your priorities, your wants, your time, your energy. And to do all of this effectively, you need to be able to set boundaries and communicate them. And you need to be able to work with others through empathy and active listening.
When the right balance is struck you are able to make time for your own priorities without worrying about neglecting other responsibilities, as well as draw boundaries on the demands that come from outside of you to keep yourself from being overwhelmed. When this happens, extraneous stress in the workplace is reduced because you know your needs will be listened to, your boundaries will be respected and your skills will be valued.
Take a few moments to consider the current balance in your life. What does it look like? What do you WANT it to look like?
There are many ways to improve your interpersonal effectiveness skills within your workplace.
Below you can find a few key ways to work on these skills for yourself:
1). Work on your own self awareness:
Do you know what you’re feeling? Do you know why you’re feeling it? Taking time to figure out where your emotions and stress are coming from will help you on your journey to address it. Instead of jumping at the first thing that irritates you, find the root of whatever it is that is increasing your stress. When your emotions are strong, remember that it’s totally fine to feel them but that you don’t necessarily have to act on them.
2). Strive for clear communication (& be aware of nonverbal ways you communicate):
When you need help, clarification, support, etc.: ask for it! If a boundary is being violated, communicate your need for it to be respected. If there is something that needs to be addressed, address it. Rather than keeping all the stress to yourself, learning to communicate what you need and want from others around you will help everyone. It will make it clear what your expectations are, what you expect of yourself & of others. It will also set the precedent for others to come to you directly if they are having an issue, so problems can be solved directly and efficiently.
And as far as nonverbal communication goes, are you aware of how you communicate through your body language throughout your workday? Do you maintain eye contact with others as you speak to them? Are you aware of your facial expressions? Is your body language open or aggressive? All of these things can impact the way we communicate with others and the way others communicate with us.
3). Be open to feedback:
Part of clear communication is opening it up to be a two way street. This means that sometimes, we will receive feedback. And sometimes this feedback can be great! (And you can encourage this by giving positive feedback to others). But other times, it may be critical. Remember that constructive criticism isn’t an attack, or a sign that someone doesn’t respect you. In fact, when communicated properly, it can actually be a sign that there is great respect for you there. It shows that they care enough to let you know your strengths and give you feedback on how to strengthen the areas in which you might not shine yet.
Being open to feedback helps you grow, shows you are a team player, and fosters healthy + direct communication between you and those you work with. And often, if heeded, can improve the actual work you do!
4). Find your own balance (& communicate it):
Are you open to helping others in the workplace? Can people pop over to you at any time during the day? Is there a way to communicate that works best for you? Is there a time when you will be done with work for the day, no longer checking emails, etc? Whatever that balance is that allows you to be your most productive self, take some time to explore and find it. And when you do find it, don’t expect that everyone will have just noticed! Communicate it if it includes a boundary that you need recognized by others.
