This week we are talking all about goal setting as a healthy coping mechanism.
First: what is a coping mechanism? Coping mechanisms are exactly what they sound like: they ways in which we cope with stress, change, or difficult emotions. Coping mechanisms can be changes in behavior, thought, emotion, or a combination of any of the three.
NOTE: Coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms are DIFFERENT. They serve different purposes. While coping mechanisms (healthy and unhealthy) are our ways of dealing with change, stress, or other difficult emotions, defense mechanisms, generally occurring on a subconscious level, work to prevent or protect us from unpleasant emotions. The two share similarities, but are different entities.
So what’s the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy coping mechanism?
A coping mechanism is classified as unhealthy if it works to avoid or worsen the situation one is trying to cope with. They typically increase stress over time and often manifest through detrimental behavior such as excessive drinking, smoking, self harm, etc. While unhealthy coping mechanisms may feel good in the moment, they will have negative consequences in the long term.
A healthy coping mechanism is one that works as a productive + proactive solution or reaction to the inciting issue/incident/situation. They work to provide solutions to problems rather than offer avoidance, and help us to build healthier habits, relieve stress in the long term, and increase our overall wellness.
Today, I want you to think about the types of coping mechanisms you utilize in your life.
If you’re unsure whether the ones you use are healthy or unhealthy, take a look at the examples below. Where do your coping mechanisms fit in?
Unhealthy coping mechanisms:
- excessive drinking/smoking
- self harm
- self isolation
- over or under eating
- procrastination
- too much or too little sleep
- avoiding problems
- overworking
- excessive exercise
Healthy coping mechanisms:
- moderate exercise
- talking through your problem
- reaching out to your support system
- relaxation techniques
- goal setting/problem solving techniques
- finding a creative outlet
- seeking therapy/professional help
- meditation
So how is goal setting an example of a healthy coping mechanism?
Non-avoidance:
Rather than avoiding the problem, situation, environment, etc, goal setting allows you to explore it. What is upsetting you? How can you take action?
Allow you to take control: in a healthy way!
Instead of finding control in detrimental behaviors (excessive drinking, smoking, over/under eating, etc). goal setting allows you to prioritize self betterment while still allowing you to be in charge of what that looks like for you.
Strengthens problem solving abilities:
When you are faced with a situation you’re unhappy with, instead of avoiding it, or overindulging in a non-productive mechanism, goal setting allows you to think critically about exactly how you would like to change your situation.
How should you be setting goals when using them as a coping mechanism?
Remember SMART goals. This stands for:
- S- Specific
- M- Measurable
- A- Attainable
- R- Relevant
- T- Timely
Reflect on your intention:
If your goals are rooted in self love and a genuine desire for self betterment, you are much more likely to achieve them. By shifting your goal setting to a self-compassionate model, you are much more likely to actually achieve the goals you set out to achieve than if they come from a place of self hatred!
Be specific (to YOU).
When setting new goals remember to not only use specific language you can create actionable steps from, but to cater to your own circumstances. What is achievable and what is not for your own unique life?
