Everyone experiences ups and downs in life; dealing with hardships and challenges is unavoidable. In these times, it is common for people to start to feel self doubt and lose confidence. Life can bring a lot of pressure to perform well, leaving you in a state of wondering how capable you really are.
Low self-esteem can keep you from enjoying your life. It can also keep you from socializing and maintaining friendships.
It is important to work on self-esteem building so that you can find the satisfaction in life you are looking for. DBT can help do this.
How can DBT help with self-esteem?
By being mindful and acknowledging your experience without judgement!
Quick refresher!
Mindfulness is a way of living your life so that you are in the present moment more often, with awareness, and with acceptance. Acceptance in DBT doesn’t mean that you approve of your experience, but that you simply acknowledge your present experience without judging it.
What does this have to do with self-esteem?
Everything!
For a moment, think about this: How often do you really think about the thoughts that pop up in your head? When you are aware of these things, are you often judging these internal experiences? When you make a mistake, do you tend to judge yourself for it and think, “That was stupid, I’m such an idiot”? That’s a judgement, not a fact!
Self-talk has a big impact on how you feel, and when you have these judgement thoughts, it often triggers anxiety; and in turn, lowers your self-esteem.
This is where Mindfulness and Acceptance come in with DBT and Self-esteem!
Through Mindfulness, you increase your awareness of these judgemental thoughts and the resulting emotions. Through Acceptance, you can begin to see these thoughts and feelings as they are, simply thoughts and feelings.
Think of Mindfulness and Acceptance as a way to make space between what you are experiencing and how you react. When you have more space to process, you can see your thoughts and feelings for what they are, and not as reality.
What other DBT skills can help build self-esteem?
Self-soothing:
Self-soothing skills help you improve your ability to take care of yourself through activities that help you to relax and feel calmer.
Building Mastery:
Building mastery helps you increase things you do that help you to feel productive and good about yourself for what you’ve accomplished.
FAST
FAST is a skill that stands for Be Fair, No Apologies, Stick to Values, and Be Truthful. This skill helps you be more effective in relationships, including how to communicate more assertively, which helps you to feel better about yourself.
Gentle reminder that practicing these skills takes time. Be forgiving to yourself if these skills are hard for you! The more you practice these skills, the easier they will become! You don’t have to struggle through life with a low self-esteem and be paralyzed by a low self-opinion. You can learn to feel better about who you are. Don’t be what stands in your own way!
“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay
