Using DBT Skills to Manage Anxiety

This week we are talking all about using DBT skills to provide anxiety relief.

First: what is DBT?

DBT stands for dialectical behavior therapy. The “D”, or dialectical, meaning it is based on the concept that all things are composed of opposites. These extreme opposites make it difficult for people to then regulate their emotions and their behavioral responses to their emotions fall on one side of the scale or the other. VeryWellMind gives a very useful, simple explanation of DBT:

“In DBT, the patient and therapist are working to resolve the seeming contradiction between self-acceptance and change in order to bring about positive changes in the patient.”

So how can utilizing DBT skills offer anxiety relief?

DBT uses mindfulness and meditation to help regulate emotions & behavior. As we’ve touched on before, both mindfulness and meditation are extremely useful tools to help combat and manage anxiety as they help us to focus our mind on the present moment, rather than run rampant with worry or regret for the past + future, or the need for control.

When we feel the need for control, we root ourselves firmly OUT of the present and our energy is spent mainly on fears and hypotheticals. This removes us from the present moment, and restricts us from living fully in the environment, situation and moment we actually exist in.

This need for control then exacerbates our anxiety. When we learn to release this compulsion we are able to better manage our anxiety, and alleviate panic at the thoughts of things that are out of our control (past choices, future occurrences, other people’s actions, etc.)

Today I want you to think about how anxiety in NYC effects your life:

• Do you find yourself stressed at new situations?
• Do you spend more time worrying about how people will react to your actions than actually thinking about what you want to do?
• Do you try to anticipate how people will react and adjust your behavior to try to ensure the “best” option?
• Do you avoid new places + experiences because there are too many unknowns?
• Do you ever feel as thought you are experiencing your life through a third-person’s observations, rather than actively participating in it?

These are all ways anxiety can impact our daily lives. These sort of feelings then make it difficult for us to step outside of our comfort zone and allow ourselves to grow. This can lead to us feeling stuck, lonely, or trapped. These emotions work in an endless cycle with our anxiety, one making the rest worse and so on.

Much of the way you live your life if you struggle with anxiety may be dictated by fear.

You try to anticipate as much as you can, and avoid situations where you can’t anticipate the social rules. But when you do this, you act not as a participant in your life, but a removed curator of only limited experiences. You spend more time ruminating on what the past looked like and your fears for the future than you do experiencing the present.

We have already covered how mindfulness helps anxiety in a previous post, but mindfulness in DBT is slightly different than mindfulness used in something like a meditation practice. The goals of mindfulness in DBT (and the reasons it helps manage anxiety) are not simply to exist in the present but to:

• Understand + give name to your emotions
• Decrease the frequency at which you feel negative emotions
• Decrease your overall emotional vulnerability
• Decrease your overall emotional suffering

So how can you incorporate these DBT skills in your life for anxiety relief?

1. Acknowledge + Identify Emotions

What are you feeling? Is it one strong emotion or a flurry of many emotions tangling together? When we don’t understand what we’re feeling it is easy to feel overwhelmed and out of control. It’s for that reason that the first step in DBT mindfulness is giving name to each thing you are feeling, understanding what that means for you. Is there a physical reaction you have to strong emotions? Keep a journal or a log, where you can take a few minutes when you feel overwhelmed. Describe what you’re feeling, what prompted it, how it’s showing up in your body, behaviors, etc.

2. Learn Your Warning Signs

This is where the understanding + naming of our emotions becomes action. As you begin to understand and name your emotions, take time to notice what came before. Are there warning signs? Do you know what is likely to prompt those emotions?

3. Plan Preventative Action

Learning the warning signs is only half of the process though. The other is taking preventative measures to stop those overwhelming or negative emotions once we do notice our warning signs. For example, if we know there is a stressful day coming up at work, we can rest up before hand, nourish our bodies well, schedule breaks in so that we don’t over work ourselves, plan a relaxing night out with friends to unwind, etc.

“Even when emotions seem to overtake life, such as when we are depressed or anxious or angry, it is important to remember that those emotions still give us important information. Rather than judging our emotions, practice acceptance of them and open your mind to their messages. Rejecting emotions or trying to push them away usually intensifies them. If the message is not heard, it needs to get louder. As an example, invalidation by others tends to intensify emotions, and self-invalidation has the same effect.” -Lane Pederson