What Does FOMO Mean: Why it Exists and How to Make it Suck Less

Do you ever feel like no matter where you are or what you are doing, there is something better, more fun, and exciting happening somewhere else, without you? Maybe you have found yourself at home, wanting to rest after a long day but when you scroll on social media, you see people are posting themselves out at a crowded bar. You start to think “everyone is probably there,” “they must be having a great time and making memories.” Instead of going to bed and getting the rest you need, you decide to go out. Or, you are out with your friends but feel the need to continuously check Instagram or Snapchat to see what other people are doing? If these examples hit home with you, you may be experiencing FOMO.

What Does FOMO Mean?

FOMO stands for fear of missing out. This term was coined by a man named Patrick McGinnis back in 2004 in an article he wrote for a student newspaper during his time at Harvard Business school. Since then, the concept has gained popularity and prevalence as a result of the increase of social media. The Oxford English Dictionary defines FOMO as “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.”

A common explanation for why people experience FOMO is that it is driven by our natural avoidance of losing out on something, also known as loss aversion. For example, you might feel anxious about your friends being together without you because of the possibility of them making new inside jokes or memories that you won’t be included in. We can be motivated to avoid or diminish the possibility of losing out on something that we perceive as better than our current situation by any means necessary, even at our own expense.

An additional factor that may increase one’s FOMO is the glamorization of people’s lives on social media and human’s tendencies to compare themselves to others. People post content they want others to see, and it is known that people are more inclined to post positive content over negative content. Therefore, people are specifically choosing and/or enhancing the positive aspects or events of their life they want to share, which as a result, influences the viewer’s perceptions of that person’s life. Now, the viewer begins to compare their own reality with a post they saw on social media. As a viewer, all we see are the “good” moments of other people’s lives that we are not a part of or weren’t invited to. Not to mention, we see a constant flow of novel content, so we are always being updated on what other people are doing. The FOMO we experience is demonstrated by being preoccupied with the idea that our situation is not as good as it could be, which creates anxiety and displeasure in the present moment as well as with our overall life satisfaction.

An evolutionary explanation of this concept discusses FOMO as being a survival instinct. Throughout history, humans have relied on being a part of a community or tribe in order to survive. In modern society, we have learned how to survive without a community or tribe as a result of the prioritization of individualism. However, even though we have adapted to this way of life, the basic necessity of feeling included and a part of a community has not been extinguished. Therefore, when we see people engaging in activities without us, it triggers that survival instinct we have always had that tells us we need to be included in order to survive.

Although FOMO can serve as a motivator to do things such as get out of the house, choose a certain career path, and try new activities, it can also be linked with an increase in depression, stress, anxiety. With the increase in mental health concerns as a result of this phenomenon, as well as the increase in social media use, this concept should be taken seriously by social media users and mental health professionals. Social media has become a prominent part of society, which makes FOMO difficult to maneuver without the right tools.

Here are some ways to help cope with FOMO:

• Implement mindfulness practices surrounding social media use
  • Social media users can learn to bring awareness to their social media usage
    • Ex: how often they use it, when they tend to use it, how  they feel during or after social media use, and set limits accordingly
  • Recognize judgements made towards self and others when viewing a post; bring awareness to these judgements and practice viewing posts without making judgements
  • Identify catastrophic thoughts and practice rethinking
    • Ex: “Everyone is having the best time without me there”
    • Ex: “The people in this post look like they are having a fun time and it is okay if I am there”
• Monitor emotional state when using social media
  • Do you use it when you are happy or sad? How does it affect your mood while being on social media and afterwards?
  • Remind yourself that social media can serve as a confirmation bias towards any negative self-talk you may have
    • Ex: “I feel like a loser” *sees a picture of a friend group hanging out* “I must be a loser since I wasn’t invited to hang out with them”
• Plan ahead – create a schedule for the week
  • Having designated time to spend with friends, family, and partners can help combat the “what-if” feelings we have of not attending every gathering
    • Ex: “It is okay if my friends go out tonight without me, I will see them on Friday”
  • Schedule time for activities, interests, hobbies that bring you joy

FOMO has the potential to impact many aspects of our lives and can have negative mental health effects if not addressed properly. With the right tools and support system, we can work to decrease feelings of stress and anxiety related to the fear of missing out.