This week we are talking all about how to be optimistic.
First of all: what is optimism? According to Psychology Today, optimism is “the belief that outcomes of events or experiences will generally be positive.” In general, optimistic people believe that things will turn out well, whereas pessimistic folks believe that things will turn out negatively.
We tend to think that people fall into a binary: they’re either optimists or pessimists. However, that doesn’t always have to be the case. Some folks might be generally more pessimistic than others. Some might be super cheery glass-is-half-full kind of people. But there are plenty of folks who go back and forth depending on their current circumstances. There might be times in your life where you lean more toward optimism or more toward pessimism, but it doesn’t always stay that way.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing if you aren’t an optimist, but a constant negative view on life can be very draining.
When you constantly assume the worst, you may experience stress, anxiety, disappointment, and helplessness. On the other hand, a generally positive view of life can be a buffer between you and life’s hardships.
Luckily, there are ways to cultivate optimism that you can practice to help shift your outlook.
Today, take a moment to consider where you fall on the optimism spectrum. Ask yourself “Do I generally think things will turn out positively or negatively? Has this always been true, or has something changed? How would a more positive outlook change things for me?”
What’s so great about being an optimist, anyway?
As we discussed a bit before, a generally positive outlook on life can help insulate you from life’s struggles. It can be demoralizing to expect the worst constantly.
Optimists tend to feel happier and more confident than their pessimistic counterparts. Why is that? An optimistic outlook pushes people to go out and solve their problems because they firmly believe that everything will work out. Instead of stewing in negative thoughts about a situation, optimists look at the good and focus on that. Optimists have faith that in general, life is more positive than negative, and this can be very motivating. Wouldn’t it be easier to look forward to life if you expected good things? On those days where you need a little extra push to make things happen, a positive outlook can go a long way.
Having an optimistic outlook doesn’t mean that people don’t ever have problems.
We all have problems and hard times, but optimists approach hard times differently than pessimists. The knowledge that things will turn out okay can push folks to find creative solutions and solve problems efficiently.
Optimism doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness per se, but optimistic folks in general experience greater confidence, more fulfilling relationships, and gives you coping skills to use when life gets hard.
If you tend to fall more on the pessimistic side, that’s okay!
People are different for a reason – if we were all the same life would get boring. However, if you’re looking to shift the way you think and feel, know that there are steps you can take to cultivate optimism.
Today, ask yourself: What would my life look like if I shifted my outlook? Instead of assuming the worst, imagine assuming the best out of a situation – how would that feel?
Here’s how to be optimistic:
1). Notice the good things
One way to shift your outlook is to simply expand your awareness. How many good things happen to you every day that you take for granted? If you look for positivity, you will certainly be able to find it somewhere. Start by making a daily gratitude list to train your brain to notice positive things. Try to pick a dedicated time every day to focus on this so you can easily slip it into your routine. For example, every night after brushing your teeth but before getting in bed, write down three positive things that happened that day.
2). Pay attention to the folks around you
Have you heard the saying that we’re the average of the five people we spend the most time with? That’s pretty true – think about the people in your life. Is your personality similar to theirs? Probably, at least in some ways! This doesn’t mean that you have to ditch all the pessimists in your life. Instead, focus on forming
new relationships with optimistic people. Are there people in your life who always make you feel good when you spend time with them? Focus on those people, and you can absorb some of their positivity.
3). Shift your language
Your brain is listening to what you say, so make sure you set yourself up for success. Shift from using words like “”try””, “”should”” “”have to”” and “”can’t””. It seems a little silly, but using these words tells our brain that we’re already anticipating the worst. When you say something like “”I’ll try to make it!””, you are giving yourself an out before you even begin. Notice how often phrases like this crop up in your everyday language – you might be surprised.
In addition to that, notice when you talk negatively about yourself. You might do it so habitually that you don’t really notice, but self-talk can have a big influence on our perception of ourselves as well as our behavior.
4). Remember that things are out of your control.
As much as we might want to, we can’t control everything in our lives. It can be hard to accept, but part of cultivating positivity is to realize that some things are out of our hands. Often, trying to control everything in your life leads to worrying and ruminating, which does nothing but stress you out. One way to teach yourself to accept that you can’t control everything is to start a mindfulness practice. Making time each day to just focus on the present moment, instead of thinking about the past or worrying about the future, can help you accept that some things are out of your control.
As with all things, life is about balance. You don’t have to be perfectly optimistic all the time – no one is. Do what you can to notice the good, surround yourself with positive people, watch your self-talk, and focus on the present, and you’ll be well on your way to shifting your outlook.
“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” ― Roy T. Bennett
