This week we are talking about mindset and our topic is be your own cheerleader. Mindset has a huge impact on our emotions and actions. It plays a role in your mood and ability to be motivated and productive. When your mindset is stuck on self-deprecating and self-defeating thoughts, it’s harder to stay motivated and optimistic in the ways necessary to find happiness and reach your goals.
Being your own cheerleader is part of developing a positive mindset as it relates to your view around yourself.
Being your own cheerleader is about speaking to yourself in encouraging, kind, reinforcing ways.Rather than beating yourself up, you can be kinder and more encouraging. Take a moment and ask yourself, “how do I speak to myself?” Note if and when your inner voice is harsh, critical, and judgmental of yourself and if and when it is kinder.
A big part of what gets in the way of being your own cheerleader is focus on what other people are thinking. This kind of mind reading does not provide us with truths and generally comes from a negative lens. It is easy to get caught up in worrying that other people are judging you negatively and seeing all your flaws. The problem with this is that you can never really know what someone thinks, and often our assumptions about other people’s thoughts and perspectives are inaccurate. This worry just causes you to feel negative about yourself and is another way that that negative, anti-cheerleader voice gets reinforced. To counter this, it’s important to work on not letting yourself be consumed with what other people think.
How To Be Your Own Cheerleader
- Pay attention to how you speak to yourself. Identify when you are being critical of yourself. It’s hard to make a change without this insight. Acknowledge when your inner critic, the opposite of your cheerleading voice, is present. Label it as such and recognize that it is harsh and not necessarily true.
- Shift your negative self-talk to positive. Flip that voice that is cruel, negative, and tends to beat you up. When a self-deprecating, harsh thought about yourself pops up, think about the opposite of it and tell yourself that. Examples:
-I am such a screw up vs. I am doing my best and that is enough
-I am so messed up, what’s wrong with me vs. I am human and no one is perfect.
-I am stupid vs. I am a strong, smart, capable person
-I don’t deserve happiness vs. I deserve to be treated with respect
-I can never get anything right vs. I am not defined by my mistakes
-I am unlovable vs. I am worthy of being loved
- Create positive mantras. Come up with general words of encouragement and give yourself praise. Remind yourself that you are beautiful, smart, and strong. Know that you are worthy, deserving of love, and important in the world. Put your positive thoughts into a statement to say over and over to yourself. It is important to repeat your mantra(s) multiple times a day.
- Challenge your judgments. We often find “proof” that our negative self-talk is accurate. We tend to interpret events in ways that reinforce that voice mentioned above. If you can start checking the facts and separating reality from your assumptions and interpretations, you can create more positivity in your mindset. Work on explaining things in neutral ways, taking out any language that is evaluative of good or bad, right or wrong. This will help you stick to the facts and stay objective.
Take a minute and think about how you can start implementing the above tips.
“Sometimes you need to give yourself a pep talk. Like hello, you’re a badass, you got this.”
Alyssa Mairanz, LMHC, DBTC
Alyssa Mairanz provides counseling and therapy services for life transitions, relationship issues, self esteem, depression, anxiety, and DBT and Psychodynamic therapy in a NYC group practice in the Flatiron District near Madison Square Park. She also serves the Village, Chelsea, Union Square, the Financial District and the surrounding areas.
Empower Your Mind Therapy’s mission is to helps our clients build the life they want and find more happiness and satisfaction.
